Avatar and Empire

My first hands-on foray into interactive media was my introduction to the virtual world of Second Life. I wasn’t sure what to expect when I downloaded the client onto my computer. First, I was informed that needed to set up an account and choose a name for my avatar. The surname had to be selected from a list of alternatives (I chose Queller) but the first name was left entirely to my imagination. After surprisingly little thought, I chose Andrew which, in retrospect, is pretty darn boring. Second Life is populated with exciting names like Firethrower, or Moriash or Zurl so I have to wonder what my selection of Andrew from these unlimited possibilities says about me. Having completed the naming, I got to design my physical appearance. Admittedly, that’s a pretty cool opportunity. But once again, I could push the envelope only so far. I had the option of being any race, either sex, a mythological being, or even a furry (that’s what it’s called when you take the body of an animal). I could dress in anything from Edwardian robes, to armor, have wings or horns, pretty much whatever I was capable of imagining, but instead my first avatar was grey-haired, wore glasses and a little overweight. With a universe of possibilities, I instead recreated myself in my own image (okay, maybe a little slimmer and a little younger, but essentially, it was me). One more instance of my inability to accept and engage in the full potential of a new, digital reality. Somehow, taking advantage of the opportunity to recreate myself seemed dishonest, like I was representing myself as something that I wasn’t. Never mind the fact that I had read that some surprising percentage of the provocatively dressed temptresses you see in Second Life are really males living out some curious fantasy, and equally many of the intimidating warrior-types were overweight and bookish office workers in the real world. Despite that knowledge, I was afraid to break free from the real-world shell that defined my personal limits.
It was especially exciting to discover that in Second Life, everyone can fly. Flying provides the freedom to soar over new places, checking out unfamiliar lands from a safe distance before making landfall. That, along with the equally cool power to teleport, promotes a sense of freedom not available in the real world. In addition to providing the means to swiftly escape any uncomfortable or awkward situation that arises with another avatar, this freedom from the laws of physics offers wonderful possibilities for those coping with physical limitations I the real world.
I have gotten more comfortable with time. My current avatar (still Andrew, you can’t change the name once you selected) is younger, more handsome and muscular, and has the long flowing hair that’s only a distant memory of the 60’s for me. Just when I begin to think I’m becoming a digital native, comfortable in this new skin, I have to admit the compulsion to somehow reveal to any new Second Life acquaintance that I’m not really what I appear to be. It is getting easier, though. Maybe next year, I’ll go with the wings.